Love Myself

This isn't a poem. And heads up, it might get pretty serious.
Trigger warning: abuse

My new favourite song is love myself by Hailee Steinfeld. For a lot of reasons. If you haven't heard it then you should definitely listen to it; and I 100% support the message ;)
But this song got me thinking about more than just "loving" myself, it got me thinking about real, deep, self love.

My path to loving myself isn't finished, but it has started. It has started and halted and crossed hurdles and sometimes it has felt like one step forward is followed by two steps back. For me, self love has been so intertwined with how I love other people, particularly with my romantic relationships, and I want to explain how.

The first time I remember taking steps to improve my perception of myself I was 14. Every morning when I woke up I would say something nice about myself. I'd say "good morning, sexy" or "hello beautiful" in the mirror, out loud. You might laugh at that but, honestly, it helped. If you're struggling with body image or self esteem I would seriously encourage trying it. Over the course of a few months of doing that I changed from a girl who thought she was ugly into someone who was confident that she was at least sometimes pretty. A small change but it mattered.

When I was 15 I was confident enough to flirt with a boy I liked, and he became my first boyfriend. I am proud of my confidence back then, even though in hind sight it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. We were together for four years, and over the course of those four years my confidence in myself deteriorated. He was a bad partner. He was manipulative and confusing. I was young and in love. My ex boyfriend was abusive, he never physically hurt me but he was; but that isn't what this post is about. Because this isn't about my relationship with him but my relationship with myself. In my four years with him I stopped thinking I was pretty, I stopped thinking I was smart, and I stopped thinking that I could leave because I didn't feel like I was good enough to survive on my own. I was in love with him so I couldn't leave him.

The biggest act of self love that I have ever done was leaving. When we broke up I chose myself over him. I loved him but in the moment we broke up I chose to love myself more. I would like to say that I never went back. Our breakup was messy and hard and there were moments when I chose him over me. But in the end he was gone and I was stronger for having gone through that.

Breakups are hard, they suck, but they are also amazing. If you are unhappy in a relationship I want you to know that it's ok to choose yourself; and it's ok to choose your future. You may not want to go through the pain now but if you feel like it will make you happier in the long run then I can promise it's worth it.

Being single for the first time as an adult was confusing. The first night two people kissed me, one asked me out and at some point my ex boyfriend cried on my shoulder. There were a lot of emotions going on, but as bad as it may sound I was having fun. I felt free. At the same time, being alone was scary. I suddenly had to do things by myself, or so I thought. But in times of crisis you find out who your real friends are, and it turns out I had many. I had so many shoulders to cry on and these connections deepened. The love and support that I had wanted from my boyfriend I received, not from him but from my friends. Some things I did with their support and some things I did by myself. And I learned that I CAN do things by myself.

At some point I got very sick. That made things hard. But I had my friends. And eventually I met someone new, someone special. And I felt like I could take a risk and fall in love again. I've been with that person for a year now. And while I have been with him I have done things I never thought I could do. During my relationship with him, another relationship has bloomed. My relationship with myself.

I'm not perfect. I have done good things and bad things. But I am more than the mistakes I have made. I am funny, I am flawed, I am a friend, I am in love. And I love myself.

Beautiful

Fair.

Light Hair,

With Blue eyes,

And strong, slender thighs.

You need voluptuous, round hips.

You must have perfectly full lips.

You are nothing unless you are thin.

No blemishes can mark your newly tanned skin.

Large breasts, a prerequisite. As is a tiny waist.

Always appear sexy and hot but you must remain chaste.

We see this as beauty.  This is what we must be.

Open your eyes. Beauty will show. Look in the mirror and see.

  

You

Are you

With your smile

And your own style.

  

You are BEAUTIFUL 

   

<3

This is worth the watch

So this has a really good message, and I won't even try to phrase it better.

http://sfglobe.com/?id=637&src=share_fb_new_637

Anyway. I'm gonna go. Be back sometime but right now I think life has better things to offer.
 -Tegdyrb

The one

So. I don't have any poems or fancy rhyming to do today. I'm also typing on my iPod so not even going to focus on grammar (sorry). I've just been thinking. I always thought the idea of "the one" was silly. The idea that there is one person in the world that is perfect for you makes no sense to me. Many people I know seem to believe in the idea though. I think that there is no perfect person. There is no perfect anything. But when you love someone enough they are perfect for you. Maybe there isn't a perfect person but maybe each person can love perfectly. I think that if you truly love someone and a perfect person does exist but it isn't them. That perfect person could turn up on your doorstep and profess their love and you would turn them away because you already have a perfect love with an imperfect person. Anyway.  That's my thoughts. Let me know what you think :)

That Man

 

  

That man knows he will be judged;

On everything he says.

He's careful to avoid offense

Whilst seeking to amaze.

    

That man always sees the light.

Employers, have no fear.

Disregard your workers rights,

It's still best that you're here.

    

That man has a vision

of a clean community.

To Indigenous Australians,

This is an opportunity. 

  

He's an expert on the climate's change

He know's it's all a hoax.

The ice caps can't be melting.

The ozone layer ain't broke.

    

That man always knows what's right

For women of the world.

Sexual purity is valued;

But only for the girls.

  

That man always knows his place.

It's here upon this land.

to guide us to a future

Still filled with golden sand.

    

And those who come across the seas?

They too should learn their place.

Not everyone can stay here.

It's not like we have space.

    

That man is a hero;

That man is always right.

That man is our protector;

If we're all male and white.

  

P.S

That man said he may be "cruel",

a "callow, heartless bastard".

Some may think he is a fool.

But now it's you I'm asking.

  

Tell me in the comments what you think of Australia's Prime Minister.

http://abbottisms.com/quote/13

Wake Up

So um....yeah.....questions?